Field of Science

TMI Friday: Screwed the Pooch

There is a turn of phrase, "Screwing the pooch" which described doing something so catastrophically wrong that the failure is as deserved as it is inevitable.  The case we will be looking at will demonstrate exactly why this turn of phrase is so apt. This one is going to get a lot nastier than last weeks one, so prepare yourself.
So we begin our story in the Emergency Room. Our victim had been brought in by his stepfather, a prize bulldog breeder. The boy claimed an inconveniently sat upon paring knife was the source of his agony. His parents noted that there was blood in the bathroom and on his intact underwear, but no paring knife. Something about this story did not add up. The boy eventually said to them that he had screwed the dog.
They suspected sexual abuse. He had a damaged anus, but nothing else to back up the sexual assault theory.  They checked him, and they checked the scene of the crime. There were some blood splatters on the bathroom floor, but nothing else to suggest a struggle. There was no one else in the house at the time, apart from his parents pair of breeding bulldogs.
Then the doctors realised that when the boy said that he had screwed the pooch, he meant it literally. It was only when the doctors pressed him for more information that the whole picture started to come into focus.
The boy had been bathing one of his parents bulldogs, when idea entered his mind. Something that he claimed he saw someone do in one of those annoying Pop-ups that you inevitably get on perfectly normal websites on the internet. I will quote from the paper on what the boy described happened next :
He [the boy] then elaborated that the bulldog had developed an erection during the bath and that he had removed the dog from the bathtub and turned him onto his back on the floor. Thereafter he had straddled the animal and put the dog’s penis in his anus.
Yes, you read that correctly. The boy straddled the bulldog. But what happened next ? Again, I shall refer you to the paper.
When asked how that had felt, the young man stated ‘‘weird” and then went on to say that he had become ‘‘scared” when the dog ‘‘got locked to me like he does with X”(the female dog). He then said that he ‘‘jumped up and pulled him out” with resultant pain and bleeding.
It should be noted that the specific anatomy of the canine penis means that it only swells up to it's full girth after it has entered the orifice of the owners sexual partner, in order to lock them together. This is why the boys premature termination of copulation may exacerbated the damage, but this venture was never going to have a happy ending anyway.
 The doctors recommended a psychiatric evaluation of the child. History does not record whether the bulldog received counselling

Blevins R.O. (2009). A case of severe anal injury in an adolescent male due to bestial sexual experimentation, Journal of Forensic and Legal Medicine, 16 (7) 403-406. DOI:

 For this month, we will be looking at some of the more bizarre situations that humans find themselves with animals. If you thought you haven't had Too Much Information already... prepare for things to get bestial.


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